(This article has been classified an 18 and over)
[N.B: not a Fiction(?)]


A good ‘C’ costs Rs. 4 if it is light and Rs. 5 if it is heavy. Light or heavy, a good ‘she’ is costless but is my price tag fair ? Might be they both – ‘She and C’ cost life because both kill !!

Frankly how many times have you smoked? I mean, just given a try?
1. Once
2. Twice
3. Thrice
4. don’t really know.

If you choice is the fourth option then its high time you think about it. And what about ‘She' guys? How many times?
Here,it might sound like I am writing this stuff just for boys (now unless you are a lesbian) but remember there are girls who would choose the same option you choosed –‘4 Don’t really know.’ So feminists, be happy. Its worth while reading for girls too.
And a fact: I’ve shared a ‘C’ and I was not even 13 then. So girls there is somebody who is more attractive then your for us-‘C’: girls greatest enemy.

Time for nostalgia now:
It was a sun shine day, so bright that, when I stroke the matchstick to put off my fire-desire to kiss my first ‘C’,the stick got shorter but the thing that made it shorter was invisible i.e. the flame of fire was lost under the dominant brightness of the sunrays and my morality was lost under the dominant desire. I was just 12 and at that age I considered smokers the worst person in the society,lol.

I was alone so I was with a friend. We hid behind a bush and lighted the long white stick and then the moment came…. I gently lifted my first ‘C’, with and between my fingers and then between my lips then a long puff and then a long cough. I coughed so badly that my friend was afraid to give a try nor did I dare to take a second puff so how and why will he?. Then we threw (dumped?) the first ‘C’ inside the bush. It is a story 7 yrs old when it cost Rs. 1 per two sticks then .That day onwards my misconception about ‘C’ came to an end: a misconception that ‘C’ tastes sweet like chocolate. And both of us had promised to keep that a secret forever. Well, I just broke the promise but I had broken our second promise six yrs ago and the second promise “promise, I’ll never ever smoke again !.”

In fact after my first try, I always wanted to smoke again because I wanted to try a perfect smoking-"smoking without coughing".Guys never give up(girls never want guys to give up,lol)…..

Next story-
I already told that guys never give up….It was dashain tika’s day. One of my uncles used to smoke. There was no fashion of ashtray at that time. So after his last puff he told me to throw the ‘Soon to be dead-“C” out of the gate. I am a obedient boy and I obeyed him. when I was out ,about to throw, I noticed that there was nobody noticing me. To be sure I took a 360 degree turn and after I was confident that I was not being spied by anybody I gave the second kiss of my life to the second ‘C’.As usual it was not ‘a perfect kiss’ again. A promise was broken and a promise was made.:” I will never smoke again, promise !”. I was 13 then

Now I am 19, in my last teens and till today I’ve broken my promise many times .Like everybody of you reading this story carefully, I also choose the option 4.-Don’t really know.
Stop laughing,because every time I smoked ,I wasn’t alone. Let that be in the hostel room, football ground, friend’s room, restaurant or even girls’ bathroom in hostel,I was never alone because I am surrounded by humans and every human has a desire. As teenage passed, list of my desires grew. Every time I smoked , I’d a new reason for it and every time I took the last puff I made a another promise.
But smoking didn’t ruin my memory power. I still remember how we guys crossed. “God, Please bless the hostel warden with sound sleep”. But if you think just boys smoke, you are wrong. I’ve shared a couple of sticks of ‘C’ with ‘she’s too and, a dozen of times I smoked, the excuse was ‘she’.
“Man, why do you use ‘C’?”
“She, man “she”.

For justice, let me write about ‘she’ too. I don’t even remember how many ‘she’s I have seen in the street, in the market, in the bus, scooter, everywhere, in TVs, movies, films, FILMS, Photos and in dreams ... And, I again don’t even remember how many ‘She’s have stolen “wow” out of my mouth. But I still do remember all the ‘She’s who have brought a smile (for a short time though) in my face.
Smile- the Second best thing that can be done with the lips. And, I remember all those ‘She’s who have compelled me in doing the 1st best thing with my lips (I don’t know if the word’ ‘compelled’ was appropriate there) And you know what’s the 1st best thing that can be alone with lips? Dirty mind! dirty mind !! I am talking about smoking i.e kissing ‘C’. Its not your fault .I know its your bloody hormone that is naughty. Hormones really suck man!!
By now you must have known the next relation between ‘she and ‘C’. Yep, every time I used ‘C’ I’d a new reason. . I knew that there was something between me and ‘She’..and between “C” and “she”. “C” starts with flashes and ended with ashes- like a ‘C’ love is ‘C’…”she” is “C”….and I love “C” like I love “she”.

I wasn’t like that before,believe me. I first used ‘C’ and then ‘She’ So you can’t always blame ‘She’ for my use of ‘C’. Its just an excuse. You need the proof? The first time I cared about ‘She’ I didn’t use ‘C’. How would I? I was just 13 then.

The story- The name of the first ‘She’ I was in love (infatuation in fact) was--- (hello, its not that I forgot her name but I don’t wan’t her to come up with slippers on her hand now). She was simply simple. Simple smile, simple face, better at studies,cheerful. Like my third, fourth ‘She’s, I hadn’t liked her because of her figure or because of the short skirts, I liked her because I rarely talked to her and the reason I was shy and the only reason for the shyness- I was in love with her, with my first ‘She’ It was a puppy love( but I didn’t get a puppy.) Know what? My second love was a little bit advanced.Yes,my first love ended because I changed my school. I don’t know where ‘She’ is now ( But I don’t even wanna know!!)
To the second ‘She’ again. She was not from my class but people, love is love. Every man is a poet when he falls in love- I used to like roses then every man spends hours in front of mirror when he falls in love-I started to care about myself too, started to oil my hair with perfumed oil, combed my hair in a newer style each day, asked my mom to iron my uniform…. Every man is happier when he falls in love I used to tease friends attaching their name with hers (though it was hard) and played a lot of pranks. It didn’t last long, not even a year. I wa 14.

I dumped her and she dumped me too because when “we” were 15 “we” found somebody better. I found a next-girl better then “her” and I’d stranger reasons to like now. I don’t know what happened, but every time I saw my third ‘She’,something rolled and grew bigger like a snake inside my trousers.Like my previous ‘She’s I didn’t just like her smile or big eyes. I liked a whole lot of things of her. And, that 3rd ‘She’ compelled me to kiss my 3rd ‘C’. BTW,she was the first ‘She’ I kissed and the 1st ‘She’ who inspired me to kiss somebody more attractive then her- i.e. a ‘C’. Every time we had a crush, I phoned my nearest friend, and went somewhere safe and then just three of us-“I, he and C”.

If I must count, I can’t count. I’ve loved 1000s of things of 1000 different ‘she’s. Loved somebody’s hair, somebody’s smile, dress, shoes, bags, scooter, @#$, figure, this & that but truly I’ve loved the eyes of just …(Ah, let me count-one-two-three-four) just four- (wait, wait, wait, its five, forget to count one ‘She’ with spectacles). It’s five for sure” locked!! (And, nobody is under construction ! Huhu.. Girls I am single.I am leaving my contact add at the eng of this article..ummh if u want ….then…) And all those five ‘She’s and my tens of five of ‘C’s are the same-same- I see a new “she” ,fall in love.., flash and ash,.Again can’t help trying a new one….. a newer and strange reason…. flash and ash.

But why does this happen friends? ‘She and C’ ?? No wonder, ‘C’ is bad but still why do I love it? I gave you 1000 reasons to like ‘She’ but didn’t give a reason to like ‘C’ right?If you tell its just excuse or the nicotine that stimulates me to smoke I don’t agree, what’s the reason then let me think………..

Is that because I love the cowboys? Their hat, gun, dingo? Or the way they smoke big cigars? Wow? Riding a horse, putting on a leather jacket, 10 gallon hat and smoking and witnessing the smoke fly by with the eagle eyes. The horse gallops and the smoke flies back. Its like when you are on a train and see the electric poles run back. Wow, I cowboy and ‘C’.

Is that because I love the 24 carat packet? So royal is the packet inside, every stick is so precious. I wish I could put all those packets in a glass showcase near my studying table like the bottles of hard drinks are kept in the bar. I wish I could put those packets between my bulky sciences books. Wow, I-that golden packets-brown sticks .The figures printed on the cover of packets are so artistic, figures like those printed on the back of leather jackets of the proudowners of Harley Davidson Bike. I-“C”,-Harley Davidson.

Is that because I love the way the ‘C’ engine is ignited by the flame of the matchsticks or lighters ? Just imagine- you have a matchbox, so portable it is like a pen-drive. You put if gently on your palm, push one of its end with your pointing finger. You have a big eagle headed silver ring on your pointing finger. The eagle’s beak facing the matchbox. You push onr of its end and when you push, out comes the box like a knife, slowly & smoothly then you pull out one of the sticks, Its not like a lottery where each any every T.T ball you pull out of the jar matters. Its like a beehive. Every matchstick are the same, white waxed body and a dark brown head that scarifies its life four your pleasure. Just imagine the sound when you push & pull out the box, the sound when you strike and the sound when the flame comes out of nowhere like a magic. Imagine the sound of lighter & click, click! Click!! Click!!!
Its even more fun to play with the liquid inside the lighter that tries to maintain equilibrium. You rotate the lighter round and round & round on your hand, smoke cloud goes up round & round & round in the air and you can’t help staring at the colorful glance of the beautiful lighter and you too,like the liquid inside the lighter, float and flow on your own world of imagination out in a secret place, your and your alter ego-the nearest heart-the best friend and “C”. The same friend with whom you share all your secrets and make a promise ,that promise that is sure to be broken one day ,like you long to break the most precious gift of “She” (guess what’s that?) lol ,her heart. You take a puff, talk about ‘She’ then your fren takees a puff, asks about ‘She’ then you talk a putt, and talk about ‘She’. First you and your friend and then you again he and ……. It goes on and on and on till the whole of ‘C’ turns into ashes. But your emotional talks, chats and feelings you share with him never comes to an end……. So you get a new excuse for a new ‘C’- a new stick but same old topic ‘She’. You know, you are afraid to take the new ‘C’ like you were afraid to take the first one. Like you were afraid to talk to first ‘She’ for the first time and when you talked you never feel like stopping, and you are afraid to end but you have to and you can’t help seeking a new ‘She’…’ She and C’ – a new ‘C’ a new ‘She’, same reason, same story, same excuse.

“Man why do you use C?”
“She man She!!”

She and C, the slow poisons, they go together on and on and on sometimes you even don’t know whom you smoke ‘C or she’ whom you like ‘She or C’ and whom of them is better ‘C or she’. I ak you, whats your reason? Same reason like me ?lol
Let me guess..Is that because, you like to be like your favourite star- Bob Marley, Kurt cobain? You smoke because they smoke ?
Red, yellow, green concert lights, a big stage and a guitar and a ‘C’ on your hand and you sing you don’t wanna end the song but you want a gap between every line you sing because you wanna give time for ‘C’. Then you throw out the smoke and sing again. Like limp Bizkit – the smoke rocks with you- it goes up-up goes Rollin, Rollin, Rollin, Rollin, Rollin and makes a canopy. The concert lights make long parallel rays, pierce the cloud of smoke and intersect. You see as if the smoke is dancing while your star is still playing his guitar. You cheer up, the smoke balls go up against Newtons Law Of Gravity, in big balls of big clouds like the big balls of smoke and dust fly up after big explosions shown in a slow motion in The Discovery Channel on your T.V screen and at that moment you never even imagine that doctors have discovered T.B on X-ray screen. Yes man yes…cool down..have patience… your favourite star has T.B. in his lungs .Now you cry and after he dies but you can’t help stop smoking again. You cry with ‘C’ on your hand…with the hand you used to pick up a guitar..then you smoke… because your star is dead and your desire alive. You stare at the poster of the dead-man and smoke. Poster on the wall. Che , Bob and Cobain on the wall, ‘C’ on your hand. A new excuse.

Say whatever you say. But I say- the combination of ‘she & C” in man’s life is worst but the best on the screen .


Its “trip-time”:time for a lil b imagination now..

You and your special ‘she’ out on date to date in a movie theatre with digital-stereo-3D-surround sound-5.1 speakers, the lights are off. Fans make sound and big fan on the theater wall between sound absorbers make sound like its raining outside. The movie starts. Your pop-corn is not even started coz your hand is busy with sth “romantic”. The big movie, big silver screen……. Name of actors comes on the wide screen……. So artistically……… like bullets……. From any corner you don’t even notice the names of the actors & start making a new movie of your own in your mind…….. suddenly a gun shot disturbs you(here you is plular)….. And between rose beds a line is written- “LOVE HURTS.” You feel a little akward because ‘She’ is with you…… then the movie s…. Its like converting the dialogues of “Thank U4 smoking into a movie.”

‘He’ smilies and knocks the door. Inside, ‘she’, in long damn red night gown like a party piece,…lucky right leg peeps out through the long cut on the right side……… in front of the mirror ……… she is full make-up-ed. Whatever, “she” seem wild….. just like Mrs .Smith looked after the last fight with Mr. Smith…. She looks hot…ouch !!

“The door is open dahlin”

He comes in. but she doesn’t’ even look at him… pours red-red wine into two shiny crystal clean glasses, so clean that it seem as if two red conical flying saucers, upside down, are floating in the air.
He coughs, stays silently leaned against the door and smiles……. leaves his suitcase down… he is dressed in formal office attire….. suit… boot. .. he un-ties his tie. The door is half-opened-half-closed…….. he folds his hands and stares at her (he stares because he cares ) …. Then ‘she’ is on the couch…Puts off her red-leathered-tall-Italian-shoes .. and her lucky right leg can’t tolerate peeping any more so, swings up straight in the air and rests on the top of couch….. leg leg, poor left leg, on the floor. ‘she’ smiles and looks at his eyes bites her lips…. Then he takes a ‘c’ stick out of the Royal packet….. but doesn’t find his lighter….. he searches everywhere….. on shirt pocket…. pants coat in & out….. but still can’t find …….. he starts to panic…. Then……..

“Darling”- caries ‘She’ and simultaneously throws a square thing towards him-before her words get in his ears he turns..the thing she threw at him in the speed more then sound is about to hit hard on his face, its not a flying kiss.... in less than one tenth fraction of a second he unfolds his hands,swings his right hand up in the air,left hand still in the pocket(left pocket of course)….right palm faced towards her….and a perfect CATCH………and yes that was a lighter..He is a hero so he is done in just just just one ‘click !’…..just one…he is relieved but ‘she’ is not….

Isn’t that romantic? Then he opens his mouth and shoots the smoke out…….towards the climax……and the whole spectator is silent….its not like a theatre……its like a Sunday-church on a rainy day….so silent…and a gun shot!!.......The crowd shy together “oh no !!” but wait, a next scene……..

…. a dark room…a man with switch on his left hand…the light is turned on and off and on and off and so on.. he has a lighter on his right hand…click, click,click..contiouous clicks ….he is facing opposite to the camera …you just get to see his back…rocking to and fro, to and fro and to and fro and so on…in a rocking chair.When he turns off the light, you can see lights peeping in through the spaces between round fan on the wall…light rays…shivering and stammering and staring with fright……….when he clicks with his right hand, they disappear…when he click again they reappear….they are frightened but they want to play hide and seek…its like dog barking a cow ….he is afraid but he can’t help barking…..There’s ‘C’ and ‘She’ too because….
Q.What is “she”?
Ans: “She” is an integral part of general “C”.
…..a dozen of ‘She’s……black and white skinned…but one ‘necessary’ thing in common …when the light is off they all look black….all round him….he has a long shiny mafia looks Styling-Gel-ed hair.Suddenly he turns off the light and doesn’t click again…..throws the switch…..lifts his left hand and ‘clicks’ with his thumb and fingers…moves his head up ….up staring at the ceiling ..the light is on again …puts on a hat on his head…then he throws out a wind of smoke out through his nostrils…..like a wild dragon throws fire out of his nose-holes….The intercontinental-black-and-white-skinned “She”s frighten and run back…..It seems like a herd of a zebra ….black and white….running away upon the arrival of a lion….and his rocking chair…metamorphises…into a rotating chair…the light is off again…he faces the camera with a big cigar pointing like a gun towards you and your ‘She’..a gun shot….sth. catches your hands (instead of you catching…) strongly… its ‘She’s hand……..


‘She and C’- the synonyms…the inspirers of a new theorem .“ You know why god has left spaces between our fingers?”coz. someday sbd will come and fill up those spaces..
A new theorem : “No, coz you can catch ‘C’ in.
Spaces for ‘She’, CATCHING ‘She’ hands…the days are gone….Its ‘C’ now. ‘She does not equal to ‘C’ any more. But there’s one thing for sure. Both are slow poisons. Both kill. If you befriend ‘C’ you die 20 yrs earlier….but if you befriend ‘She’ you die daily(a tragic told me)…choice is yours….self suicide or natural suicide ?


Amazing right?’She and C’- the infactuations, the dreams, the master assasins, the mirages, the illusions, the drug-s and last but not the least ‘She and C’-90% of ours’ history.



Be Jhap .Be Bindash